No Time to Ketchup

“I like Ketchup on my Ketchup.”  Have you seen this shirt hanging in a shop window on State Street?  I have and although I laugh, it is really not that funny.  I have been in ketchup anonymous, aka KA, for about 10 years. 

When I had a framed picture of ketchup on my wall, two or three gallon sized jugs on reserve in the cupboard, and the red juice going on things like broccoli and saltine crackers, I knew I had a problem.  I wrote a poem once, “Ode to the Tomato.”  The key line being something like “select the perfect model to be squashed to fill my ketchup bottle.”  And then there was a childrens’ story, “Kenny for Ketchup.”  Intervention was not easy, but I am doing well.

For the movie Copland, Sylvester Stallone claimed he gained 40 pounds by adding ketchup to everything.  “Uh-oh.”  Even worse, George Bush once called it a vegetable.  Now I know there are tomatoes in there, but when the ingredients read high fructose corn syrup followed by corn syrup, the tomato is pretty irrelevant.  “Hmmmm.” 

Then they tried to dress ketchup up.  Bottles wore flashy labels like Lycopene rich and fat free.  Here’s a trick, mutli-colored ketchup.  Yes the purple ketchup was an excellent source of vitamin Bad4U.

Organic ketchup?  Have you tasted it?

Since candy corn does not even have high fructose corn syrup, it is better to kork the k-up.  You just might run faster for it.

~ by drea on June 20, 2008.