Holiday Helpings, Between a Rock and a Pillow
Sugar Plum Fairies need not advertise near me, they dusted me an addict long ago. However, I never sit down to indulge. Instead, I bake. Baking naturally defies the laws of the glycemic index. If there is a piece of chocolate pumpkin cake on a plate it runs your gut a whopping 500 calories, but if half the bag of chocolate chips kamikaze your lips while preparing said cake the net caloric intake is zero. Brilliant. I bake. I make husband remove baked goods from house. I bake again.
Cookie in hand, oh no, I couldn’t possibly have that. Pile of raw dough on spoon and goop at bottom of the bowl, here let me clean that up. Last year I made homemade fudge as presents for my friends. I felt sick. A lot. This year, I decided I cannot be trusted to the tradition of fudge to friends. I bought bags of white chocolate chips to make pound cake cookies mixed with sweet cherries and white chips. The chips are gone. The cookies a mere idea. Oops. Oh well, I sent out cards.
I stand in the check out line at the grocery. One magazine broadcasts making fantastic sweets for festivities while the print next to it boosts moral to banish such indulges from your diet. Why do we have such difficulty with “everything in moderation?” My European family can sit down to tea and have one cup, one cube of sugar, one splash of cream, one small piece of pie, and one measly dollop of whipping cream. My sister can Betty Crocker her house and open a container of delicious decadence and she will consume only one tiny morsel. Not I. Bounty hunter me must seek out all sweets and eliminate them from my presence or else I cannot be held responsible for what will transpire. A sugar massacre of epic proportions. I have quite the tolerance.
January to October easily passes without a wagon tip on the sugar trip, but November and December the sweet teeth remember. And here I am gnawing on a couple of candy canes and sipping phony sugar-free hot coco with a few packets of splenda added to jack it up. Yep, the January withdrawal is always a tough ride.
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