It is no secret, I am a bean fan.  I like-a the Java, love-a the Latte, and almost never say “No.”  I will take it to go.  I enjoy everything about coffee.  The color, the feel of your hand through beans, the aroma, the noise created when grinding, the whirling and whisking of a foam-er thingie , the theme song…….”The best part of waking up…….”

Negative on the Folger’s, but positive on the rest.  I pre-make my coffee each night before bed.  Sucking the sweet fumes up through my nose, I slap the lid shut and set the auto-drip button.  Maybe tomorrow my coffee will wake up before I do.  I can’t wait for morning!

Over the last decade, the caffeine attached to my morning magic never seemed to really get me one way or the other.  OK, it got me going, but never seemed to stop the drop factor on sleep.  I was seemingly immune to the jitters and jumps.  Now that does not seem to be the case.  I started conservative.  I 86′d all caffeine after 1pm.  Then I bumped that up to 11am and then 10am.  Nighttime still found me tossing and turning.  My mind raced.  “Maybe it is not the caffeine?” I protested, “I mean I only have coffee before 10am and then no more.”

True.  However, I drain a pot.  Oh yeah.  So I upped the committment.  I stopped topping up after two cups.  I filled the mug 50% skim milk.  I re-heated it to keep the mojo on my jojo going a little longer with less.  I thought I was doing pretty good until my husband did the unthinkable.

He shhhhwotuoithechaonetea.

What?

He switched to TEA!

OHMUYGAWD!  I know.  He said he felt cleaner with better focus.  He said he went days without feeling antsy.  I did not believe it until I actually watched him deny my coffee pot any attention.  The black juice just sat there untouched.  I offered him a cup.  “No thanks,” he said.  I almost felt insulted.  Coffee!  We do this together!  I drink it.  You drink it.  That is what we do!

This prompted me to progress further.  I concocted the tried and true mix of half caf/half decaf in the pot.  I continued to feel better, but it did not taste as good.  Why does removing the caffeine toy with the taste?  I am not sure, but I think I found a solution.

RUNNER’S COFFEE

In a coffee maker:

3/4 Decaf ground coffee beans

1/4 caffeinated ground coffee beans (preferably a strong aroma to make up for the decaf)

2 shots of ground cinnamon.

The cinnamon makes it all taste richer, sweeter and more decadent.  I smell the cinnamon percolating and it just reeks fabulous.  So take that Tea-totaler!

Tim is getting so much more sleep, he arrives to runs in his PJ’s.

Lightening flashes.  Thunder rolls.  The fat Running God flexes his knuckles.

“What is it Chubs?” another God trigger zips his velour track jacket and scratches a festering itch under his sweatband.  Mop top curls sprout out around the sides, but his just-waxed halo reflects back in his growing bald spot.

“That one,” Chubs points back to the swirling ball in the center of their table of running universe, “You know, HER.”

“Well, she certainly got our attention when she bought those sun-dimming pink shoes, but I wouldn’t dock her for that.”

“True,” Chubs pats his belly and opens his third Cliff Bar, “but she is running well again.  I think she said, Better than ever.“

Slim gasps, “She said that!  Time to pull a hamstring?  Stress fracture?  Infected spider bite?”

“Nah,” Chubs cracks his knuckles and runners in Iowa hear thunder.  He pulls his little finger and they see lightning.  “Let’s send the flu back.  She got the message last time.”

MEANWHILE DOWN ON EARTH

“Lach you want a juice?”

A head shakes.

“A snack bar?”

Shake shake.

“A lollipop?”  No answer.  AHMUYGAWD.  Here comes the puke.  We are back to bleaching, washing, and praying.  “Please flu, go away.  Please flu, fly away.  Please flu, screw off.  Shoo Shoo flu, don’t bother me.”

A sacrifice.  Quick, baby girl bring the pink shoes!  Ahhhh, no I can’t do it.  They are too perfectly pink.  I know we shall make VooDoo Toes.

VOODOO TOES

One bottle witch hazel

One bottle tea tree oil

Mix witch hazel and tea tree oil in a spray bottle.  Mist tired, sore runner’s feet.  Ahhhh, that feels so good.  Smells good too.

How did that stop the flu?  It did not, but my feet feel divine.

Sweet success!  Sometimes you have to just accept who you are and find a way to make it healthy.  As my son will relay, “Mommy, I want no vegotapples.  Only sweets.”

“Ulley steets?” my daughter asks.

“No vegatopples,” he confirms.

Eat your broccoli.  Fine-fine, but what about after the broccoli and lean chicken breast has been swallowed?  What to do about that hallow gnawing deep in your gut that cries, “Coooo-kieeee Do-ough!”  Did you hear that?

Ah-ha!  Behold the meal deal: recover and get a treat in one sweet trick.  Is that a recoreat?  Nah silly it’s a recoveat!  Obviously!

 1 cup nonfat vanilla frozen yogurt or tart

1 cookie dough balance bar

Chop up the cookie dough balance bar and mix it into the fro-yo parlor style.  Stick it on a waffer cone and call it lunch!

16 grams of protien

7 grams of fat

400 calories

OK, is the title of this appetizer too much of a stretch to make it into the runner’s kitchen?  I don’t know, and I don’t care because it tastes gooooooooood!

Saute scallops in olive oil, best if brown just a bit

Heat up some pesto.  Jarred stuff is great or sweet talk Gramma Gail into bringing you her homemade blend.

Throw some regular peas into the scallop saute last minute to heat a bit.

Stick a scallop on a ridge line thick potato chip.  Drizzle (hee hee drizzle) pesto on the scallop and chip and throw some peas around.

Invite people who are allergic to shellfish over and eat them all yourself.  “OH!  I didn’t know you had an allergy!  MY WORD,” huffing and slapping forehead, “Hon, can you heat up some hot dogs.  I got toothpicks somewhere in there.”  [Deep, sympathetic sigh] “It will just be a minute.”

Recovery drink?  Smoothie?  Ah-ha, Recoothie!

1 Cup Non Fat Greek Yogurt (packs 22grams protein)

1 Cup Frozen Blackberries (Fiber)

1/4 Cup Tart Cherry Juice (shown to have anti-inflammatory effects, tastes good)

1/4 Cup Skim Milk

2 scoops Whey Vanilla Flavored Powder (16 grams Protein and tons of other Vitamins and Minerals)

Blend.

Good?  Oh yeah.

Calories: 400

“Um,” says asking friend, “Can I add Vodka?”

“To a recoothie?” I answer, “Absolutely!”

Absolute Recoothie.  Hee hee hee.  But probably a better recovery drink without the Russian influence (or French, or USA or whereever you are getting your distilled potato or grain v-o-d-k-a.  A-K?  Keep it virgin, Mary.